Seeking
by Cgaume12
Summary: A different kind of story. Is four separate stories from the perspective of thinking.
1. Introduction

Seeking

I got this idea out of the blue. This intro could be considered to be the Chronicler's perspective, but it's not meant to be anyones.

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Who am I, the question we all seek to answer. Our whole lives spent unknowingly trying to find our identity. Every action, every word contributing to who we consider ourselves to be, and what others consider us to be. Therein lies the problems. We may get past something we have done, but others may not be so quick to forget. Whether it be the pursuit of love, an accident, a past that haunts us day and night, or the expectations of others pressured upon our shoulders. Therefore, I pass to you the stories of four dragons and dragonesses from whom much can be learned.


	2. Chapter 1: The Love of Ember

The Love of Ember'

This chapter is told from the mind of Ember. Please review if possible.

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Why am I here? What have I done to deserve this? One rash act in haste, and my life becomes worthless. Now I'm trapped within these walls. To emerge when it has been deemed that I have learned my lesson. Yet if not for my minor transgressions have I been forgiven, why should this, somewhat extreme case, be different?

If I had been in control of my emotions this wouldn't have happened. Was I cursed so all whom I pursued would either reject me or cheat on me? Love, it eternally eludes me, yet it's all I care for. What is love anyway? Affection? Kindness? Devotion? A combination of all these things? Is it more than this world can show? Does anyone know what real love is like? Is it because the world is devoid of love that I'm here? That must be it, my actions are justified, it's the hateful judgments of others that make them seem wrong. If I am seeking real love, how can I be wrong?

What did I do wrong that day....

I was awake early, excited at having made it a week with the new dragon I hoped would be my mate for life. I had already mated with lots of other males, I mean if that's what they wanted it's what they got as long as I could keep them in the relationship. What was his name again? It's been only a week but minutes feel like hours in this dark, metal hole. It's not important anyway. We had mated the night before, and afterward he has said he would stay with me forever. If I hadn't heard that a hundred times before I might have believed him.

I went to his house on the western side of Warfang, I hadn't seen it before but he was right in saying it was huge. It was three stories high, and wider than the entrances of the temple. I figured since he told me to come by whenever that I could just go in. I slowly pushed open the door and went in, closing it behind me. I heard a sound from up the stairs, at first it was a creaking and thumping. Then, as I made my way up the stairs it became a low pitched moan, intermittently interrupted by a higher pitched squeal. I knew exactly what it was. Once again I had been deserted by a male. One who I had spent too much time and energy on to let go without a fight.

I burst into the room where the sound came from. What I saw dashed the minimal hope I had left. Not only was he cheating on me, but there were three of them in there with him! I screamed at him, demanding to know if I wasn't enough for him. One of the members of his harem looked at me and said they had been here much longer than I had.

After that, adrenaline took over. I whipped her across the maw with the end of my tail and left. If I had left it at that I wouldn't be here. I'd be getting cheated or rejected by another male. I destroyed it. Everything I could see was on fire or smashed to pieces. So instead of being out there, I'm in here. Finding myself and the reasons for my suffering. Whether I get out of this place doesn't matter. I would only be rejected by all but those who know not of me. Maybe once I find what love is I can escape. From the prison of my mind, and their judgments.


	3. Chapter 2: The Remorse of Flame

The Remorse of Flame

This one is just a little bit short, but I don't think something like this needs to be long. Two more afterthis and I feel that they will be better as I have more to wrok from with Spyro and Cynder's situations. Thanks for taking time to read this mediocrity. Please give me feedback whether it be a review or PM.

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Why is it that I must be reminded of my mistakes day by day? Is the pain I myself feel not enough? Does no one understand? Sure, Spyro and Cynder didn't know their parents at all and are sympathetic, but this is different. To have them for so long, such tight bonds, then to have them disappear in an instant and I the cause of it. Where will I find refuge from this storm? In moving past it I've filled the void with hard work, and searching for a mate. But it's not enough.

Each time I go outside I'm reminded of that day...

It was a warm day, four years ago. We had decided to head up into the mountains for the day, as we had when I was younger. We were only a short way from our village, which sat at the mountain's base, when it happened. I had gone on ahead a short distance and could see them below me on the spiraling path up the mountain. They were taking a long time, strolling along and enjoying the nice day. But all I cared about was eating the food my mother had brought; that and getting back to the village. I was going to Warfang where a friend was offering me a job at his store and still had some preparations to finish.

I called down to them, but they didn't respond so I figured they couldn't hear me. Continuing on I decided I should try again. I looked down at them and shouted even louder than before. From behind me I heard a rumble. My shouting had caused a rock slide. In this part of the mountains it was common for loose boulders to come pounding down the mountain, but this was much more. It looked as though the whole mountaintop was coming down onto us! I ran a bit back from the path of the rock slide and turn back to it. It turned out to be only a few boulders, but that was more than enough....

My parents were swept away. Carried down the mountain and into a river. All because of my impatience, and the villagers blamed me for the loss of their chief. Didn't know he was more than that to me? That's why I had to leave, and quickly. Now I'm here in Warfang. Lonely and spent, with no one whom I can talk freely to. Once again I must ask myself how I will find sanctuary from this. At this point the only remedy for my pain which I can see...is death. But that's not an option. I know there's at least a few out there who care for me, and while they may be outnumbered by those who would rather turn than see my face, they should not have to suffer for my sake.


	4. Chapter 3: The Heart of Cynder

The Heart of Cynder

Here it is. Please leave a review or PM me with feedback if possible.

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For what do I live? All I have done and all I do, is criticized into nothing. My every action is prejudiced by my reputation. Despite my efforts and the support of Spyro and the guardians I was still shunned whenever they weren't around. The accidental pushes, quieting of conversation at my approach, anything to keep me separate. Ever since I was emancipated from Malefor I've known I wanted to repay all the damages I caused. I know that death can't be reversed, but I'll do whatever I can to make up for it.

Nowadays things are getting better. The adults of the generation I terrorized are dying off, and their children don't have much reason to hate me. Sure, they were told all about me when they were young, but they were young. The stories of my torturous slaughtering, my relentless attack upon countless small towns and villages, and my systematic hunt to kill all who were unneeded; all fueled by the power and fear imposed upon me by my master. Things may be looking up outside, but inside everything is still there.

I can vividly remember everyone I have killed. Every whimper, every scream, every futile attempt to escape or fight back. Burned into my mind as an encumbering burden. When shall I break free of these dark chains! They restrain me from achieving what I set out to do. I take a step forward, and one memory can send be back five more.

However...I think I'm on the right track now.

These dragons know what they're doing and as long as their goals are similar to mine; I'll latch on to them. They've been working for a little while now and have already started to make a presence of themselves in Warfang. I don't really see this going anywhere, I mean what can five of us do among a city of thousands? Nothing, all we can do is try our hardest, and then fail to succeed.

Ugh, why must I be so negative? How do I expect to be trusted when I can't trust in myself? How could someone love me when I don't love myself...how can I give love without first loving myself? I would do anything to get out from under this shadow, but who can I turn to for my escape?

Spyro cares so much for me but...he has his own problems to deal with. Ever since we left from under the wings of the guardians he hasn't been able to go anywhere without being swarmed. Unfortunately, while those who hate me are slowly but surely coming to the end of the road, those who love him are only beginning their lives' journeys.

Perhaps working in the background we actually can achieve something. Maybe the fact that I disappear will give time for them to forget, and give me time to get some plans rolling along. As soon as I find how to erase these memories from my mind, everything will run perfectly. There will be no more backtracking, no self-hate, not a trace of doubt in myself. If only I could forget...instead I will live with this pain for eternity.


	5. Chapter 4:The Burdens of Spyro

The Burdens of Spyro

**Here it is. The last one. Please enjoy and review. If you don't enjoy it, plese still review and tell me that.**

I am called a hero. I am revered as the savior, and put onto a pedestal of god-like height. I can do no wrong and my every whim is taken care of immediately. I am the life-blood of our race, an almighty, unstoppable conqueror. I put on my loving, joyous facade everywhere I go, and everyone is genuinely glad to be in my presence. However, their praising and love only drives me further down the path of hate and depression.

No one really cares about me, they may be grateful but what have they ever done to help me? Nothing. All who have ever helped me in anything are dead, and I the cause of it. Volteer to old age and disease. Terrador to a...fall...I don't understand how he could have just fallen.... Ignitus to the fire. Cyril...to my own comfort.

What option did I have but to end his suffering? He was hallucinating and I panicked...that and there was...something else.... Some sort of connection as he neared death. It was as though I could feel his pain pulsating through me. I'd do anything to never go through that again, especially that moment when he died.

It's not like I could tell someone and get this off my shoulders. What would they think of me then? That murder isn't who I am. It's not who I want to be. For more than twenty years I've done all I can to live up to expectations. Putting my problems behind others, and hiding my faults in the recesses of my mind, only to be brought out when I am alone. Not only would they see me as imperfect, but I might be imprisoned despite my past heroism.

Cynder is too busy trying to get her own past erased for me to put my own burdens upon her. I wonder if she even notices; she's always busy trying to both stay away from everyone who has reason to hate her, and make a name for herself. Maybe...I should help her with that. Fade into the background and let everyone continue their lives without my presence. Become nobody.

I am a hero, I did save our race from destruction by Malefor. Yet I am more. I sicken myself because... I crave that feeling. At the beginning I deeply hated it, ashamed of what I'd done and pumped full of adrenaline. Then...after a few days when I had gotten past my grief I began running through the whole trip in my head, searching for what happened to make that connection, and I found it. Blood. In finding it, I also had to remember the shadow, the one that hollowed out my being and that which I now crave... but how can one crave death's touch, and how can I feel it again without falling prey to it's hands?

I must remove this great weight from my shoulders, but I cannot do so without fading into the shadows. Therefore this is what I must do. I can continue plying my talent for script, and wait for an opportunity to come along.


End file.
